


To see and to hide

by NayruSol42



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Brief homophobia in the beginning, Canon-typical emotionally disturbing scenes (nothing too heavy I think), Frederick said gay rights, Gerome being a nerd, I wrote this 4 years ago so I'm sorry if it's cringey, Laurent being a nerd obviously, Laurent deserves all the love in the world and I'm gonna give it to him singlehandedly, Laurent having friends, Laurent's family being wholesome, M/M, Morgan is a literal ray of sunshine, Robin and Stahl are shipping everyone in the background, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:26:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26004151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NayruSol42/pseuds/NayruSol42
Summary: The war with Valm is over. With the need to attend to his duties as Exalt, Chrom decides to give the Shepherds a vacation. Laurent jumps at the idea of free time for research but soon finds a subject he would have never expected, one that would change his life--and his best friend's--forever.
Relationships: Gerome/Loran | Laurent
Kudos: 6





	1. Dawn of a new day

Another day passed...many others to take its place...

Alone

Laurent sighed wistfully, shaking his head to clear it of those thoughts. Five years, precisely five years. He was nineteen years old now, even if the others found him they wouldn't know; he looked too different. The traces of childhood and innocence he had managed to retain from the future, from his days as a struggling fourteen-year old, had dissipated into the past.

_That's right, I'm no child now._

_I'm a grown adult._

_I'm...an adult..._

Another shake of his head in silence. If the future hadn't made him an adult, those five years certainly had.

_Right...?_

He rubbed his face and ran his fingers through his hair--messy again.

Pushing the light blanket away, he pulled himself out of bed and stretched his back until it popped. Sleepless nights were scarce now, but still present. Now the fear of risen shared his dreams with solitude, dreading to spend one more day without being found.

Legends were unreliable, more so if time-travelling was involved. Therefore, even if he knew what should have been happening to the Shepherds in that moment, it wouldn't give him a signal or a "deadline" to being rescued. For all he knew, they could defeat Grima with Lucina's help and still not find him.

A frown, and now a hand to his forehead.

_Forget it, move on. You have to fulfill your role in this village as well, there is no time to doubt and grieve._

After changing sluggishly into his mage clothes, he dragged himself to the bathroom and washed his face, tying his hair with a small ribbon.

' _I should cut it soon._ ' He thought in the mirror. His own gaze stared back, and he lost himself in the reflection.

Sharp eyes, thin face, slightly tanned skin from wandering the desert for so long. Chocolate hair with maroon eyes, the perfect image of a great knight and a scientist's son. He traced his eyes over the changes he'd gone through. Broader shoulders, strong jawline. So like his father.

_Stop. Now. Immediately._

Tearing his eyes away from the reflection, he washed his hands on the small bucket and headed out, grabbing a waterskin from his bedside and his hat.

_Don't even think._

A sigh, and he was out of the house.

Some hours of exploring the desert passed, he walked to the oasis and back to the house searching for clues to that mirage village, but he didn't dare go any further.

Then it happened. Bandits. He stayed and defended the village entrance easily, since none of them expected a mage to live in such a small neighborhood. A small army nearby seemed to notice, maybe they had heard the rumors? So many different soldiers organized perfectly. He spotted wyverns, pegasi, even magic users in their ranks by the sound. But something stood out, someone was getting closer.

The figure was unclear by the sand, but he could make something out, albeit slightly. A small form, followed by a bigger one. A horse unit, maybe? Then the smaller one had to be a mage to lead the way.

A mage and a knight.

A mage...and a great knight.

* * *

A month passed from the day Laurent joined the Shepherds, and the day his mother had (for the time being) accepted him as her son. Frederick the Wary didn't seem to care at all about his wife's own wariness, and after a few minutes in the mage's company decided he couldn't be anyone but his and Miriel's son. Robin, of course, couldn't help the joke, and both Lissa and Chrom had a great time teasing Frederick for a while.

_Naga only knows how Father can stand that..._

The mage sighed deeply, and eyed the tome in front of him. Just a regular arcfire Robin had gifted him as a welcome to the militia, somehow knowing full well that he was far more interested in the tome's contents than the spell itself. The tome was a masterpiece, one he had finished reading in little over an hour.

The habit hadn't worn off, he still slept with a weapon at hand.

"Laurent?" There was a whisper, and the mage turned to face his tentmate's cot across from him. In the darkness, he could make out spiky hair and a man lying on his side.

"Yes, Gerome?" Fumbling, he wasn't comfortable in his cot, it would seem.

His insomnia again.

"Why are you still awake? It must be past midnight already." Gerome said. The mage hadn't noticed.

"Forgive me, I...thought you wouldn't notice." Silence, then mumbling from the rider. "Excuse me?"

"Your breathing. It was still uneven." _...Amazing observation._

"Insomnia, Gerome?" He managed to grasp a slight movement from him, then a nod. "Is there anything I can assist you with?" He seemed to turn away, and now lied on his back.

"No...It's all right. It's better if at least one of us sleeps." The mage held back a laugh, and simply sat up.

"Come on."

Cloth rustled at the other side of the tent, and a tall figure stood beside the tent opening.

"I can go alone, there's no need--"

"Please, I don't mind."

Gerome sighed and walked out of the tent, Laurent following with the arcfire in hand.

They rarely talked during their walks around camp. Once in a while they bumped into someone with the same idea but it never went beyond a polite nod or wave--from the mage, that is. Gerome set their destination and the time it would last, but Laurent always forced him to walk a little longer, at least until he looked genuinely tired.

That night was no exception, and they walked back into the tent after an hour of comfortable silence.

* * *

_Dawn of a new day..._

That day, the Shepherds were scheduled to march to the capital after lunch. The war with Valm was over, and everything Chrom needed now was the last gemstone and peace. With that in mind, he decided it was best to send scouts, leave for Ylisstol to attend his exalted duties, and give his militia a well-earned short vacation--they HAD just won a war, after all.

The idea of objecting to the Lord's decision never crossed a single soldier's mind (except maybe Frederick's) and so the idea was set. The second generation was complete as well, and Robin's thirst for treasure had apparently subsided. All that remained was...to waste time.

_Quite the waste of time, certainly._

Laurent agreed the Shepherds needed rest, but indefinitely? Not so much. Still, he didn't have the heart to complain, and he was smart enough to know that if his father hadn't convinced them, nobody could. His mother, of course, had even shown the faintest of smiles at the idea of having so much free time for research, and had immediately invited his son to follow. Laurent agreed, but Frederick seemed troubled.

"Miriel...don't you think we could spend some time as a family as well?" He said. The scientist immediately considered his suggestion, and nodded.

"Very well, we shall use this time to investigate as a family and..." she trailed off, quite unlike her.

"Yes, mother?"

"I believe the word would be 'bond' with our son. Although I lack substantial proof of your inheritance other than my ring, Laurent, I have a...feeling, of sorts." Frederick really couldn't be prouder or happier at that moment. Laurent thanked her with a small bow, and Frederick patted his shoulder. Now only one thing remained.

"What will our subject of study be?"

* * *

At Frederick's idea, they decided to go into town and simply look around, preferably visiting stands and shops. And so they found themselves walking together, the great knight holding hands with the oddly blushing redhead, and the chocolate-haired mage awkwardly fumbling with his tome next to them.

Nothing seemed to trigger Miriel's spark of curiosity other than books and few stands with trinkets and tools, while only the former interested Laurent. Frederick simply seemed happy to be with his wife and son, and had an air of triumph not even Robin had when she defeated Virion at chess for the first time.

_We're not THAT antisocial, father..._

He intended to mentally grumble for a few more seconds, before warmth blossomed in his chest after a thought reached his mind. 

_...At least I'm with them._

A happy "hello" from someone nearby jolted Laurent out of his thoughts. Not so far from where he stood, he saw a young man with a kind smile walking the opposite way as him. He seemed to be a simple farmer from the local town, and was walking next to a distracted-looking youth not older than him. He took a second to notice that they were holding hands.

He nodded back at him with a polite smile. He certainly respected their bravery. Same-sex relationships were fairly rare in Ylisse, mostly because they weren't completely accepted yet for some reason Laurent didn’t understand. Strange, since none of the Shepherds would think twice of it. He was pretty sure if any same-sex couple ever formed there, Chrom would be the very first to congratulate them. For a second, he wondered how a land with a king as accepting as Chrom could be so prejudicial.

_No, this is Ylisse I'm talking about._

But then something snapped him out of his thoughts again. A dry, loud noise, then a thud.

He turned around immediately to see the young man from before on the floor, with blood coming out of his nose and his partner hurrying to his side. In front of them was a village man, readying his arm to punch the frightened young man again--

Until someone grabbed his arm.

_Father?_

Frederick stood next to the man in a second and held his wrist firmly with one hand, his mouth in a terrifyingly calm grin. Miriel and Laurent hurried to the young men and helped them stand. While the redhead tended to the assaulted's nose, Laurent stood by his father.

"You...you'd stand up for this--this scum?" 

The cold expression on the great knight's face didn't change at the man's words. "If they are scum, I dare not think what that would make you." 

The man hissed at the response furiously, and tried to punch Frederick with his free arm.

_Terrible mistake_

Frederick, in turn, barely had to move to block the other arm, and swiftly twist him rather painfully.

"Now, I believe short tempered, close-minded people like you deserve the title of 'scum' more than a couple displaying their affection, wouldn't you say?" At the groan he got as response, he twisted his arms a bit further, all with that cold smile. "Wouldn't you say?" The force behind those words could make Grima herself flee in terror.

The man flinched pitifully, and Frederick pushed him away. He ran as fast as he could, eliciting a tired sigh from the knight.

"Forgive the inconvenience. I am ashamed people with those ideas still remain." He turned to the young men, they shook their heads.

"N-no, uh...we're used to it. Thank you, sir." Frederick smiled warmly at them and wished them the best. After thanking him countless times, they walked away.

Another sigh, now from Laurent.

"Hmm?" Frederick turned to him, and the mage merely shrugged.

"I simply tried to imagine the hardships they must go through. It must be like fighting a war on its own." 

The great knight agreed, and fixed his tie. "I believe we should go back. I am in mess duty today and Milord will be waiting." With that they left. Two distracted mages dwelling on deep thoughts following the stern knight through town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! So, I'm painfully bored and I rediscovered this old thing from my middle school wattpad, and turns out it's not as bad as I remembered! I basically wrote this whole thing while trying to come to terms with my own bisexuality (boy I had a HUGE storm coming), and of course I wanted to make one of my favorite characters go through it too because why not. Anyways I have 30k of this already written and about two or three chapters I'll have to write eventually, meanwhile I'll be editing some parts and try to update this about once a week (or more often if I get bored again). I hope the FE13 fandom is not too dead yet and to whoever reads this, hi! I hope you enjoyed it!


	2. We'll be friends

Upon sight of the Shepherds' camp, Frederick sprinted away with an apology, leaving Miriel and Laurent behind. They walked together in silence, Miriel glancing at her son with a strange glint in her eye every few minutes, until it was time for them to go separate ways to their tents.

_ Why can't I forget that? _

The mage was still in deep thought when Gerome greeted him, and took a few seconds to greet back.

The rider noticed, but Laurent shook off his concern easily and started packing. By the time they had both finished, Frederick had lunch ready.

"Say, Gerome?"

The rider nodded in response, while struggling to eat some fairly good noodle soup.

"What do you think about homosexuality?" His breath hitched in his throat, alongside his food. So the poor rider coughed for dear life for a second with Laurent awkwardly staring in concern.

"What do I think?" He barely coughed out.

Laurent frowned a bit, noticing the rare blush in his friend's cheeks, or the visible part, at least.

"Why would you ask me?" He managed to say after drinking the remaining water in his cup.

_Why_ _indeed?_

"For...research. I fear you would be one of the few here to take my question seriously." Gerome tilted his head with a nod. Soldiers all around them chatted peacefully, as the two friends were blissfully unaware of the young man heading towards them.

"I see. Well...I accept it. Personally I wouldn't jump to another man's arms but neither for a woman's, so--"

"Did I hear talk about attraction from my handsome friends, I wonder?" A deep, sly voice reached them. Just then, Inigo appeared behind Gerome and threw his arm around the blonde's shoulders. If not for the mask, he would have fled in terror at the rider's glare.

_ Right on cue, the most efficient interruption. _

"Now, now, there's no need to glare. If you were--by chance--talking about love...maybe I could be of help?" He winked at the mage, but soon sat down awkwardly next to Gerome under the intense glare.

"You heard but a fraction of the conversation, Inigo. We were merely discussing opinions."

"Of course. But still, and don't kill me for this, it wouldn't be surprising if you actually WERE talking about love and not just research before I interrupted." 

_ Why do I feel like he completely ignored my statement _ ?

Gerome groaned silently. "Your point being?" 

Inigo did his best not to shrink under the annoyed glances. "Well, neither of you show any interest in women, least of all the ladies I struggle so much to please. Out of all the Shepherds, I believe you most likely to..." Obviously, the dancer thought about what he was about to say, and smiled sheepishly. "What I meant to say is, I find it quite more likely to see you two together than you two with girlfriends." Laurent froze, and Gerome started choking yet again.

_ Us...together? _

He shook his head furiously, practically begging the movement would give him amnesia so he could forget this conversation at all.

_ How dare he! Gerome is my friend and nothing more! I would never... _

_ Never... _

_ Never what? _

An image crossed his mind, making heat rise to his cheeks at amazing speed.

Then the world seemed to return. He saw Gerome red as well, still panting from the last accident with Inigo trying to help, to have his assistance slapped away by the stubborn rider. Laurent's eyes fell on the white, masked eyes of the blonde man before him for a second. Gerome tilted his head a bit.

'Are you all right?' His gesture seemed to say.

The mage nodded with a small smile in response, his earlier nervousness vanished completely.

_ Because he is only my friend. I will not let anything Inigo says affect me. _

The rider let out a sigh, and faced the dancer next to him.

"I believe I've had my share of danger for the day. I'll finish this in my tent. Care to join me, Laurent?" The mage nodded almost too quickly, and they fled from the young dancer's amused smile.

The mage looked forward to the minute of peace with the rider with excitement borderline childish.  _ For research, of course.  _ He thought reassuringly.

But his precious time with Gerome seemed to fade into the distance when a particular mercenary stepped in front of him. Scowl and everything.

_ At least she's not Nah, I dread the day Gerome hears THAT... _

"Hope you didn't have any plans, Chrom just cancelled them." She practically growled.

_ I could bet she is referring to herself. _

"I had, as a matter of fact. Is there a problem?" The mage tried his best not to sound too annoyed for the interruption. Anyone would know he failed.

Gerome stopped in his tracks and glanced at him, eliciting an apologetic sigh from Laurent and shake of his head. The rider left with a nod.

Once he had, the mage turned his glance back at Severa to see her frown even deeper.

"Are you done ignoring me? We have to buy supplies. Just some food for the way, not much."  _ She sounds like she's one step away from exploding.  _ He thought absently.  _ Just what kind of plans did she have? _

* * *

So he found himself in town once again, using his hat as a makeshift basket as always.  _ Thanks to Severa's idea of "not much".  _ He added mentally.

"Apples, tangerines, oranges...something's missing..." The girl mumbled in thought, her earlier annoyance seemingly gone completely. Laurent sighed. "Oh! I know! Strawberries!" She perked up at the thought considerably, ignoring Laurent’s annoyance.

"Severa, this is enough. We were only asked for food to march today, not for the entire journey to Ylisstol." He sighed, eyeing the fruits skeptically.

_ My hat full of apples, a sack full of tangerines on my back, a sack full of oranges on hers...is it even possible to carry more? _

"Oh, come on! The way to Ylisstol is a long one, we need all the energy we can get!"

_ If you shared yours right now, we could go there and back without splurging this much gold... _

He sighed, Severa turned to him with a pout.

"Ugh, you SO need a girlfriend." The statement didn't quite click in Laurent's mind.

"Does my private life have anything to do with fruit?" He asked sincerely, not minding the girl's intentions of making fun of the mage.

"*sigh* No, duh! But you're too uptight! Keep it up and you'll end up marrying a book."  _ I am not that uptight, am I? _

"I will not. I have no particular interest in wooing women, I wouldn't mind--"

"Marrying Gerome? Now that's the only human being you'd accept."

_ Ignoring. _

"Gerome only happens to be my best friend, I would appreciate it if people stopped suggesting more." He sighed in annoyance, Severa merely laughed.

"Want me to stop my oh-so-annoying ideas? Try proving me wrong!"

_ Why does she sound so confident?  _ The mage thought with a raised eyebrow.

"Even if I wanted to do so, for starters, do I really have any options within the Shepherds?" 

Severa stopped abruptly, oranges nearly falling off her sack.

"Severa? Is there--"

"You mean...you've been here for A MONTH and you STILL don't have a crush on ANYONE?!" Laurent was quite sure, somewhere in camp two taguels were in serious pain.

"Lower your voice. Why should I?" He was genuinely confused. The mercenary looked like she'd seen not one ghost, but an army.

"Laurent, have you seen the women in the army?! I mean, Kjelle, Noire, Lucina…” Laurent spaced out as she listed practically every woman in the army. ”--do you even like women at all?" Her deadpan tone almost made her sound serious. Almost.

_ I...assume? _

"I do, if I remember correctly." Severa shielded her eyes on time for the famous lens glare. 'Thank my reflexes', she thought sarcastically.

"No need to blind me, Laurie, it was a joke." Glare again, now a quick one to match, then the girl smiled amused.

"Okay then! Seeing as you trust me enough to try to kill my eyesight, I'll help you out!" That evil smile sent shivers down the mage's spine, a premonition of the many events to come.

"Help me...how?"

_ She can't mean... _

"I'll get you a girlfriend, of course!"

* * *

After getting those darned strawberries, Severa and Laurent walked back to camp. The former going on and on about how to treat a lady and the latter straight out ignoring the girl. He heard, of course, for the sake of general knowledge, but he decided it wasn't worth taking it seriously. Not to mention something about her was just easy to ignore.

Chrom thanked them for the fruit in a rather astonished way, and left somewhere to rally the troops. So Laurent found himself alone once again.

The afternoon went by, and dusk slowly fell upon them while marching. Few Shepherds were tired--according to Severa thanks to the fruit--so they decided to march just a while longer.

"Thinking of something, Laurent?" He heard a young voice behind him. Just for a second he could have sworn the tactician of the army was behind him, before he realized the voice was male and the owner of it indeed had green hair, not blue.

"Hello, Morgan. May I help you?" The boy was...energetic, but his desire for knowledge made him one of Laurent's actual friends, childish behaviors aside.

"Oh, no, don't worry. But I noticed Gerome is Inigo's hostage this time, I thought you'd be lonely."

_ Lonely? _

"I...appreciate the thought. But isn't there anyone you'd rather talk to?" His father had taught him to be polite at all times, even when he really wanted company.

"Nah."  _ Again with this. What was Nowi thinking? _

"I...you mean..."

"Oh! No, I meant no, Nah's hanging out with her mother." He said sheepishly, a hand rubbing his neck idly.

"I see."  _ Interesting that you already know her location. _

"So! What do you think about the whole vacation thing? I wasn't sure which side you'd take."

"Side?"  _ I wasn't aware there were 'sides' _ . He thought, struggling to follow the young man who kept hopping all around him.

"Yeah. Between 'we don't need vacations' and 'splendid opportunity to expand our knowledge'!" The impressions of Frederick and Miriel were quite accurate, the mage admitted.

"I agree with both, I suppose."

"Hmm?" The boy tilted his head, as interested as ever.

"In other words, I do think we don't need vacations, but I also agree with my mother that we could use this time for research." Morgan smiled in defeat.

"Gosh, I can't believe Inigo was right. And I wanted to buy extra food next week..."  _ Another one like his father.  _ Laurent thought with a smile.

"I can help you with that. But first, were you betting on me?" He tried to sound annoyed, but the tone failed him miserably.

The rest of the evening went like that, until finally Chrom decided to set camp next to the road on a grassy plain. Bandits seldom appeared in that area, and there weren't enough settlements for risen to be a risk. That night was sure to be peaceful.

The camp was set once again with belongings still packed. Just enough to spend the night.

He shared the tent with Gerome, as usual. Both refused fiercely to sharing a tent with anyone else in the army, and Rel really couldn't blame them.

_ But was that really the reason? _

He shook his head, the tactician wasn't THAT evil.

He changed to a casual shirt and woolen pants to sleep, glancing at Gerome's similar clothing.

_ Why does everyone insist we should be a couple? _

Simply wrapping his head around the thought proved difficult to Laurent. The moment he managed it, of course, he thanked every god above and every law of nature that his tentmate wasn't able to see his blush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all sorry I forgot to post haha, rough week so I barely noticed Wednesday had already passed. Anyways, I forbid myself from looking at the view count and stuff like that so I have no idea if anyone's reading this. If there's anyone out there, hey! Thank you for reading and I promise the story gets better!


End file.
